What women want

Clearly, as a bloke, I have no idea what women really want. Which makes filling out online-dating profiles quite difficult.

In my original profile on OK Cupid I wrote copious amounts in answer to every question. Total response: nil. Honest, well-thought-out answers were clearly not a way forward.

Plan B, then, was to consult a woman about what women actually want to see. As a result, I’ve now only answered the mandatory parts of the thing, and my profile in its entirety now reads:

Intelligent, successful professional man seeks like-minded woman. I’m 26, handsome, medium-built, brown-haired, and educated; I’m looking to meet new friends, and possibly more, in Southampton.

It can hardly do worse than my original effort, but I have to confess that I’ll be shocked if it does any better. It seems rather shallow…

Naturally when I’m proved wrong I shall need to think of a good way to thank Flic for her help – suggestions on a postcard (or of course in a comment if the posties are on strike again) please…

6 Responses to “What women want”

  1. Michael

    Try:

    “Chocolate factory owner looking for friends or more in Southampton. Enjoys long cuddles, romantic comedies, buying dinner, shopping for clothes, and giving oral sex on request.”

    Yeah, at least some of it’s a lie. But isn’t dating all about lying until you learn to love each other for who you really are? I’m sure I read that somewhere.

    Reply
  2. Jenny

    Michael, you are splendidly cynical. And I’m not sure you’re wrong, either …

    At least – dating is (possibly, and I speak as someone who’s, er, never been on a date in her life) all about presenting bits of yourself to someone a little bit at a time so they don’t choke on the whole horror all at once, but have time to get used to you. Something like that.

    Reply
  3. Phil Willoughby

    I’ve never knowingly been on a date either, which I think explains my nervousness to some extent.

    I’ll try Michael’s description as plan C, should the woman’s touch fail.

    Reply
  4. fluffydragon

    I’ve never been on a date either, but I’m sure the expectations on a date are entirely different to what a women actually wants. Be yourself is my advice.

    Reply
  5. Sally

    Perhaps I’m hugely egotistical, but I think that obsessing over what unknown people want is defeatist and puts all the power in their hands. I say focus on things that you like and like doing and let the readers draw their own conclusions about what kind of person that makes you.

    That serves two purposes: firstly, it makes you sound like a person that actually does stuff and can articulate it; secondly, if the reader likes doing the same stuff, they may start to imagine that you’re a bit like them. There’s nothing more attractive than what lies in your own imagination.

    Can I also point out that being a woman does not in any way make it easier working out what women want.

    Reply

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